Monday, December 24, 2018

Note to myself.


The key what's important is if everything is not going well for you you have to reach higher and B the best you can. Don't don't don't descend into bitterness and jealousy reach higher be the best person you can be. Be a good person. Don't be sad.

What happens if you write something it doesn't really matter what it is but it takes you away from the conscious to the subconscious. Once you are there things let go and you are able to teleport into the free flowing world. It's a bit like exercise you just have to get to the point where you free up. You can get there consciously. You can start off conscious and as you go you'll become subconscious which is where creativity does itself.

Certain people have the ability to show people how to switch off their conscious mind and locate a world where they are free to dream. It's very unselfish work for them. It's not really hard hard work for them tho as it is an effortless gift they were given and gave away.

The problem with schools and universities is they all commodify the conscious mind robbing people of their natural gifts.

Also say no to the "no" voice most of all.

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Wednesday, December 05, 2018

New Year's Eve

New Year’s Eve 

Downtown central Auckland, New Zealand
I hadn’t been out for a while. There were four of us. Bill was the president of a motorcycle gang. His friend Rangi was a big Maori guy. They had been in prison together. Kelly was Bill’s girlfriend, over the last week. She was very young and thin, with a face like an avatar. We were an unusual group. I was a bankrupt lawyer.
We loaded up on pure Peruvian coke and Long Island Iced Teas and headed downtown. Rangi was so drunk he was sick in the back of the car. With a compassion born of doing a lag together, Bill cleaned him up and we found him a new shirt.
Downtown was pumping. We headed for a small club in an old art deco building next to the waterfront. The security at the door let us in and we paid money to a bored looking girl at a desk who ushered us down the stairs. The club was packed and the carpet was wet with booze. As we stood in the queue at the bar, I noticed a tall blonde girl a few people over. I was pretty high. This girl was horny looking. She had a white dress on. Everyone was pretty young but they weren’t as high as we were, so it kind of felt like it was a little more even. The music was super loud. I felt a little claustrophobic. We sat down together on some couches at the back of the club. I needed to take a piss and as I moved toward the bar to find the toilet I felt a surge of energy. Two guys were holding each other by the throat. I just turned straight around and walked away. In my other life I had seen the aftermath of people being bottled in bars and I didn’t fancy it.
As I went back to my seat a couple came over and sat down. I was very high. She was really attractive. Tall, Jewish looking. I love Jewish women. She had a soft dress on. He was kind of short and a little ugly. I was pretty high. I was thinking, Why is she with him? Does he have a lot of money? A big cock? It didn’t seem to make sense. And she was hot for him, or so it seemed. All I could think about was the soft hair of her pussy. This guy was all over her. I tried not to watch. Somehow I knew she wasn’t that into the guy, and I couldn’t work out why on the one hand she was letting him practically stroke her cunt while her eyes were sort of distant. But perhaps I was wrong. Maybe it was just the coke.

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